Monday, June 29, 2009

A Shard Of Memory

He’d changed his name to rhyme with gateaux, French for 'cakes'. He delighted in being fat. It was, he said, a political statement – a physical rejection of the mainstream ideal of 'thin'.
“Fat is the new punk,” he'd insist. I was sympathetic.
I'd agreed to design a tattoo for him but I never found the time to do it. He wanted an homage to A Clockwork Orange, except that in it, Alex had to be a girl. For years, he left space for it between his other tattoos. The word 'suffer', all in large, Gothic upper case, was inscribed on his back. I asked him why. "Because that way," he said, "It's always behind me."

4 comments:

animadi said...

I think loving and living in your body is pretty punk.
Regardless of size, enjoying your body for what it is is pretty fucking revolutionary.

Septic Monochrome said...

I had Shame tattooed on the sole of my left foot and Guilt tattooed on the sole of my right for the same reason. I never wanted to see them or feel them again. It was an attempt to squash them from my life with every step I took.

Anonymous said...

Did your tatts achieve your intentions for them Septic? Maybe we are meant to feel these things at times, otherwise we could become sociopaths. I do know what you mean though, some of us were needlessly and brutally instilled with shame/guilt for innocent human traits which misinformed and may have deformed our lives for a time. It can be difficult to recover from the crap of the past.

Septic Monochrome said...

Yes, they did, and still do. They gave ME the control and power over those inner child demons and monsters. It is a mental game, just like it was all of those years ago, but now I hold the reins over them and always will.
Never again.